my feelings when I woke up...


This morning has been a bit rough on me.
I am extremely stressed about whether or not I will get the job at the hospital.
I went in to shadow on Wednesday afternoon.
I found out yesterday that they are having another girl shadow today.
: /
I don't really know what will happen, but it just kind of put me in low spirits to start off with this morning.

Then on top of that ... I have been very sensitive about all of my friends getting married, having babies, enjoying their careers.
There are moments that I am content being single & realize that when the appropriate time arrives, then I will have those things as well.
It is just hard sometimes.

Plus, I have been thinking a lot about a past relationship that I had.
We knew each other for like 6 years and dated off and on in between that time.
It wasn't that he was a horrible guy.
We just wanted two very different things in life.
I had a lot going on, as did he.
I have come to terms with that never working.
However, my heart becomes a little sad because he has been the only man in my life that I felt genuinely loved me for me.
He didn't want me to change me or the way I looked.
I know he cared for me, as I did for him.
We would never have lasted in the long run.
The older I get the more I realize just how hard reality can be.
We were just two very different people, heading in two different directions.

All that to say that I wonder if I will get all the things that my heart desires.
I realize that patience is very important ... especially for females and dealing with this kind of stuff.
It just isn't always easy to have patience.

Anyways, sorry for that bit of a rant there.
Everything happens for a reason & things come in due time!
I really do believe that.

I hope you have a wonderful Friday, friends!
much love, colie.

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