For you, Kimmie. :)

This evening I went with one of my dear friends to do last minute Christmas shopping at Wal-Mart.
Please remind me NOT to do that next year!
Jordan & I almost pulled our hair out. : /

Anyways, afterwards she & her boys were headed to church with her husband.
I got in my car & headed home.
The whole ride to my house my heart just ached.
I started to whisper the sweet name of "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus."
It helped to put my heart at rest.

I miss church.
When I say church I am not just speaking of the growth in my walk with the Lord, (because I strive for that everyday), but I miss having family, a support system.
I  miss community.
I miss having a place to run to when all other doors are closed in my face.
I yearn for that peace in my life again.

I once read where Shane Claiborne said that his liberal friends saw him as conservative and his conservative friends saw him as liberal.
I laugh every time I read that.
I feel quite similar to that at times.
I am a very open-minded person, yet hold the teachings of God close to my heart everyday.

Please let me define open-minded for you:
I am open to my LOVE for ALL people.
Do I agree with every choice or lifestyle they choose?
No. Absolutely not.
Do I still love them?
YES! for that is what Jesus did.
He loved.
Everyone.
Especially those that the world did not.
I will never be close having the heart of Jesus, but I do have Jesus IN my heart.
For that, I can say that my life is far sweeter than I could ever possibly give words to.

I have tattoos, I sometimes say "pissed", I listen to both christian & secular music, I laugh all the time, I try to always be myself - even if that means not everyone will like me, I love encouraging others, I adore hugs, I like getting to know people, sometimes I get frustrated, I go out for a drink once in a blue moon, I cry, I like awkwardness (makes life a little more interesting), and I may be a little different that what the world labels "normal", but guess what?

God loves those things about me.
He knows me.
He knows I am NOT perfect.
I am flawed.
I'm full of mistakes.
& yet I am still on this journey with Him.
I love Jesus!
I am not defined to live life inside a box that the world has created for myself ... or for God.

I know God is leading me to a church that is right for me.
I will continue to pray & be patient.

I long for His presence ... for the Holy Spirit.
Always.

much love,
colie