hey there.


i just need to talk.

i am happy that i have a new job. better hours, good pay, and nice people.
i'm beyond grateful for my dysfuntioncal family that is always there for me.
i am blessed to have true friends in my life that would run to the ends of the earth and back to protect my heart. (& i would do the same.)

some days my heart is so heavy i feel i may cry because of the sheer weight of it. & most times, i do.
i wish my financies weren't as bad as they are.
there are times i want to go back and change most of the stupid desicions i've made in my life.

sometimes i am sad because i am 25, single, with no kids. & sometimes i get annoyed when people say i'm still young. i know that. stop telling me.
i hate that i care so much for someone who doesn't feel the same. he isn't a horrible person. he has a lot of growing up to do. i'm just pretty sure i won't be around when he finally does.

i don't trust most people.
i miss when my life showed that i was truly running after the heart of God. i'm not sure when that stopped. :/
sometimes i feel like everyone has it together, but me. (even though i know that isn't true, deep down.)
i'm annoyed that i haven't emailed a single person back that took the time to do so over a month ago. i'm sorry. it was appreciated. i promise. i haven't forgotten.

i am beyond happy with my new tattoo. it makes number four. it needs a bit of touching up, but overall i'm over the moon about it!
i have been working out for over 2 months. sometimes i can't tell if anything has changed. but most days i'm just proud that i'm still sticking with it.
i desperately need a new book to read.
when the opportunity arises, i'm making a small weekend trip to dallas. i miss it and the people so very much.
my sister should be having her baby girl any day now. (first girl in the family for the aunts, uncles, and grandparents)
oh, and i miss blogging.
happy thursday.

a simple reminder for us all.


"When you have reached your own room, be kind to those who have chosen different doors and to those who are still in the hall. If they are wrong they need your prayers all the more; and if they are your enemies, then you are under orders to pray for them. That is one of the rules common to the whole house."
-CS Lewis
(Mere Christianity, preface)