a stirring of my heart.


"To everything there is a season. A time for every purpose under Heaven."
-Ecclesiastes 3:1

There are some days that I just feel so overwhelmed.
The journey down this road we call life is not always an easy one to follow.

There are moments - days - when my anxiety gets the best of me.
I find myself constantly worrying.
I worry about how I will ever get caught up on school loans and make all my bills on time.
I worry about how I can be a better friend.
I worry about how I be the best example of Christ to my family. (& if I fail, how I can change that..)
I worry about how I can lift the burdens of those I love so dearly.
I worry that I am too sensitive.
I worry about those I do not know, but who need our love and encouragement.
I worry about if I will have truly done what the Lord has asked of me in this life, when He returns.

I worry, worry, worry.
I have a mind that rarely shuts off for I feel there is always something to be done, someone to help, or ways to be a better person.
I feel things with such a deep passion and love.
This in many ways is a blessing and a burden.
And because of that, I find myself tired.
So. very. tired.

In those moments I ask God when this season will pass.
I wonder if my next chapter is being written or if I have to continue to fight through it to see that shining light around the corner.

There is definitely a season for everything.
We all experience them, good and bad.
However, who I am isn't going to change.
I am still going to worry.
I am still going to love others so deeply and want to lift their burdens from their shoulders.
I am still going to fret about bills.
That is a part of life and a part of me.

The one thing God has been speaking to me is that I shouldn't change, but that I should give those worries to Him.
I've always known this, but I'm a "fixer".
You know, someone who thinks that if they work hard enough, love more, and pray - that it will somehow all fall together how I pictured in my mind.
Yea, God doesn't really work like that.
He has His own plan.
I forget that at times.

This morning God reminded me that He is enough.
He is there for me when life gets messy or difficult.
He says to me, "Daughter, I love you. I will hold you in my arms and keep you safe. There will be no worries for I will take them away. You are my beloved. I cherish you."
His love for me can be overwhelming at times that I find myself on the brink of tears.
Isn't it amazing?
That I am but just a small speck in the universe, yet I matter so much to Him!? :)
He feels the same you!
Never forget that.

"Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." -Matthew 11:28-30

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