Thoughts ... & more thoughts.

I've had a lot on my mind lately.
Well, I guess I always have a lot on my mind.
It literally never shuts off except for the few, short hours of sleep I get each night.
They are mostly just thoughts. 
I figured I would share them with you. 

I'm more than grateful for having Nathan in my life. I'm not even sure if he realizes how much. I've dated a lot of men in the past, and please trust me when I tell you all that I am very blessed. 


I am learning more and more that I am way too hard on myself. People I barely know tell me that. :/ That worries me. I try not to vocalize how I feel about myself in a negative way, but I guess it does come out sometimes. Most days I love who God created me to be. I love my personality and the ability I have to become friends with just about anyone. I don't however feel like I'm "worthy" or "good enough" at times for the people in my life. Then there are just the petty things that as women we tend to fret about: hair, clothes, weight, etc. 


I am always broke. Always. I am constantly stressed out with finances and paying back all the debt I owe. More than that, I have been worrying about tithing. There has been quite a lack of that. I know it is mostly because I feel like I have none to give so why should I put myself even farther in the hole?! BUT, God has been stirring my heart in this area. I must trust Him. For a widow who gave the only two coins she had was praised by God over the ones who gave what they felt was "enough".


Commitment. I need to do what I say I will do. This is with friends, family, work, prayer life, events, promises, etc. I have trouble with keeping my word at times. I know we all fall short of this sometimes, but I am striving to be better at it.


Where does all the time go? I'm serious. Time flies by so fast. I'm not even 25 yet and I remember thinking that time was passing so slowly. Pssh. I was wrong, folks. I honestly find myself planning an entire week in my head step-by-step with any available time I may or may not have. It's sad, I know. No judgement, please. ;) I just feel like I never have enough time to fit everything in. Do you ever feel like that?


& finally, this song has been on repeat for the past two days.
I don't know why to be honest.
It's actually pretty sad, but I love it. 



I am so sleepy now. It's off to catch some shut eye.
I hope you all had the best Monday!
much love.


PS.  My brother, sister-in-law, and nephews came in from Texas this afternoon!
They will be home for two weeks. :) I am so happy.

11 questions.

I thought it would be fun to answer a few questions:

1. What is one thing you can't leave the house without?
My iPhone. I honestly think this is for most people now a days.  Our phones are our lifelines. I have gone to work before and not had my phone ALL day. It was really strange. It was probably good for me, but still ... a part of me was missing!!

2. Tell me the best place you've ever visited or vacationed.
Oh my! The best place I have ever got to visit is when I took a week trip up to NYC back in '07. It was amazing. I am a small town girl, but I love the city. I really do. I'm not sure if I could ever live in a big city, but it has so much to offer! My favorite part was all the people. It was so diverese. I loved it! :)

3. You have to sing karaoke to save your life. What song do you choose?
Oh dear. :/ I think my life would be over. Seriously. I don't sing in front of people.

4. If you could change one thing in the past week, what would it be?
That I wouldn't allow my worry or stress to effect how I feel for days.

5. What have you been eating a lot of recently?
MEXICAN FOOD. ahhh! It's awful. Really. -- I try not to, but I can't help it!

6. If you were going to be famous for something, what would you want it to be?
I'm not sure I would want to be famous. I would honestly just like to help and encourage others. I want to know that when my life is over that I made a difference in others lives ... no matter how small.

7. What is your least favorite chore?
Ha! I would have to say laundry. I'm so lazy when it comes to that. It honestly isn't as difficult as I make it, but I just put it off until there are piles and piles stacked in my room. **this is why no one is allowed to look in my room. ;)

8. If you had to live one place the rest of you life, where would it be?
Probably in a cottage, on the edge of the sea, in Ireland or New Zealand or something! Yes, yes. That would be oh-so lovely.

9. What shows do you watch regularly?
Well, I am going to be real here, folks. I used to have so many shows I watched during college that I couldn't keep up. Now, not so much. I am addicted to New Girl. I need to be friends with Zooey Deschanel. Other than that, I TRY to keep up with Modern Family & The Office! I have recently been re-watching episodes of Prison Break and 24. :)

10. Do you have any big trips coming up? If so, what?
I don't have any trips "planned", but need to make a trip down to Dallas soon. I miss all my friends so much! Plus, at some point I need to visit my dad out in San Francisco + my family out in West Palm Beach! I love trips, so I'm hoping they all happen in the months to come. 
 
11. Who is your hero?
This was always a funny question for me. I'm not sure I really have one. Is that bad? I was never super close to my family growing up and the other side of my family lived so far away. I think I would have to say the people that have stuck with me. The ones who have seen me at my best and my worst, and still love me! I think many people have been my hero, in different ways, big or small.

Now, what about you?
Feel free to snatch these questions or make up your own. :)
Happy Monday!

*Thanks to Danielle for this neat idea.

Six years.

The other day, I was driving in my car, when The Fray came on the radio.

Remember the song, "You Found Me"?

Well, if you don't then I'm about to refresh your memory. ;)

The first thing I thought of was the show 'LOST'.

They used that song for the Season 6 promo.

So, I woke up this morning and decided to watch it.

Goodness, I have missed that show!

I'm serious.

Many of us, including myself, could say that it didn't end the best after being devoted to it for six years.

However, the story was absolutely amazing!

I watched the music video and found myself rooting for them all over again, wanting to tear up because I knew the outcome, and happy knowing that Benjamin Linus wasn't as bad as he was in the beginning. 

Yes, yes ... it may be a bit much.

I'm sorry.

The same thing happens when I read an amazing book or see a great movie.

I kind of get wrapped up into their reality & feel like I know all the characters personally.

Sad, but so very true. 





Do you see what I mean?!
Aw.
During that six year journey, we were all just as 'lost' as the characters.
I think that is what kept us rushing home from work or school each week to see what happened.
So, basically I think that there should be some kind of weekly 'LOST', "re-watch all the seasons", because it is so awesome thing going on!
Who is with me?! ;)

My Christmas present.

For all that is good in this world, can we PLEASE talk about how:

+

+

=

oh, katniss ... peeta. 

i'm sorry. i can't.

i have NO words. 

none.

colie.

PS. Yes, I am one of "those" people. The ones who become obsessed with fictional characters. : / It may be sad, but so very true. 

if you had one song.

one of my all time favorite movies is 'walk the line'.

there are many reasons for this, but for now i will just give you three.

1. joaquin phoenix & reese witherspoon are phenomenal. 

their roles in this film were absolutely riveting. 

   

2. the story. 

johnny cash, the man in black.

he was a person.

lost & hurting.

yet, he rose from the ashes.

he found his way.

3. the clip below.

i love what the manager says to johnny.

something just pulls on my heart every time i hear it.

   

what would your song be?

johnny & june. <3

** in his last interview, shortly after june died, johnny cash was asked where do we go when we die.

     his response, "well, we all hope to go to heaven." & smiled.**

  you are missed, mr cash.

    can't wait to see you again.
maybe you'll play me a song or two. 

 much love, colie