Thoughts ... & more thoughts.

I've had a lot on my mind lately.
Well, I guess I always have a lot on my mind.
It literally never shuts off except for the few, short hours of sleep I get each night.
They are mostly just thoughts. 
I figured I would share them with you. 

I'm more than grateful for having Nathan in my life. I'm not even sure if he realizes how much. I've dated a lot of men in the past, and please trust me when I tell you all that I am very blessed. 


I am learning more and more that I am way too hard on myself. People I barely know tell me that. :/ That worries me. I try not to vocalize how I feel about myself in a negative way, but I guess it does come out sometimes. Most days I love who God created me to be. I love my personality and the ability I have to become friends with just about anyone. I don't however feel like I'm "worthy" or "good enough" at times for the people in my life. Then there are just the petty things that as women we tend to fret about: hair, clothes, weight, etc. 


I am always broke. Always. I am constantly stressed out with finances and paying back all the debt I owe. More than that, I have been worrying about tithing. There has been quite a lack of that. I know it is mostly because I feel like I have none to give so why should I put myself even farther in the hole?! BUT, God has been stirring my heart in this area. I must trust Him. For a widow who gave the only two coins she had was praised by God over the ones who gave what they felt was "enough".


Commitment. I need to do what I say I will do. This is with friends, family, work, prayer life, events, promises, etc. I have trouble with keeping my word at times. I know we all fall short of this sometimes, but I am striving to be better at it.


Where does all the time go? I'm serious. Time flies by so fast. I'm not even 25 yet and I remember thinking that time was passing so slowly. Pssh. I was wrong, folks. I honestly find myself planning an entire week in my head step-by-step with any available time I may or may not have. It's sad, I know. No judgement, please. ;) I just feel like I never have enough time to fit everything in. Do you ever feel like that?


& finally, this song has been on repeat for the past two days.
I don't know why to be honest.
It's actually pretty sad, but I love it. 



I am so sleepy now. It's off to catch some shut eye.
I hope you all had the best Monday!
much love.


PS.  My brother, sister-in-law, and nephews came in from Texas this afternoon!
They will be home for two weeks. :) I am so happy.

It was an oh-so-lovely night. :)

small glimpses of my date night through instagram. 

So, several people have asked me how my date went last night.
I wasn't sure if I really wanted to say much or write anything on my blog about it (mainly because I know he reads my blog...), but I decided I would say a few things.

I must be honest and say that I thought on several occasions about canceling my date throughout the week.
I didn't want to give dating another shot, because frankly, dating these days is absolutely daunting.
(Those who are married, happily married, be ever so grateful!!)
However, with all my feelings about the dating, I told myself that it was best to at least give it a shot.
What did I have to lose, right?

And I'm really glad I did.
First, he PLANNED the date.
Did I say PLANNED??! -- When do men do that anymore?
Every guy I have dated has no clue what he wants to do and waits until the last minute.
Then I had to be the one to decide.
Romantic, eh? :  /

Also, he planned it for a really nice trip about an hour away.
We got to chat the whole way there, laugh, and get to know each other more.
It was wonderful! :)

OH! OH!
& THEN... he tells me that we have "reservations" at 7:45!!!
people... (please excuse this saying, but....) HOLD THE PHONE!!
I mean ... really???
I had to have him repeat it! ha.
In that moment I was a little tickled & found myself thinking that the date might be the best ever. :)

So, we got to eat at a lovely little place.
It was a bit loud, but fun.
Also, the food was wonderful -- though we both had to take half our plates home!! :)

Afterwards, we got to meet some of his friends at a local coffee house.
UMM... let me just tell you, that is absolute bonus points in my book!
Any man who takes me out for coffee can pritty much make my day ... especially if I don't ask!! (which I am pritty sure has never happened)
Anyhoo, his friends were amazing.
I really liked chatting with them! So sweet.

It was coming up on 11pm at that point, and boy oh boy, was I TIRED!!!
I may be 24, but geez people ... I am an old lady. ;)
So, we got to chat most of the way back home ... except when I drifted off for a quick nap.
**side note, he brought a pillow for me because he knew if we stayed out late then I would be tired. He knew I had to work this morning & wanted me to nap if I felt like it. 


We then sat in my driveway for a good hour or so and just talked and talked.
I was exhausted ... and especially now that I am about to leave for work.
However, I had the BEST time! So, a little lack of sleep won't hurt me too bad today.

Basically last night was a smashing success. :D
I do have a bit of trust issues and can't help but think that every man is going to turn out to be a jerk ... but goodness ... I hope that I am so very wrong, friends.

Well, I need to finish getting ready for work. : /
I hope you all had a wonderful Friday night & enjoy the rest of your weekend!

much love, colie

PS: I just wanted to leave you with this quote by Olive Penderghast (aka: the amazing Emma Stone). It describes how I feel perfectly. (which probably has a lot to do with the fact that I LOVE any 80's  movie flick ... but, yea)

Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.