Sunshine & Rain.

Do you see how bright and lovely the sunshine is coming through my bedroom?
I am in a no-sleeve shirt, people.
Last week we had days in the 70's.
There needs to be an AMEN for that folks!

However, as I sit here (obviously awake when I should be sleeping) there is a storm brewing outside my window.
I tend to enjoy storms, though.
I sleep the best when it is raining hard and the wind is blowing like crazy.
I know, I know. I'm weird.

Anyways, I have been away from the computer and especially blogging the past few days.
I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things this week!
I have lots to share with the hiking adventure that Nathan & I took, the Harlem gospel choir singing (and dancing) for the glory of God, & a few things I've had on my heart to share!

PS. I am so tired of my short hair. I can not express that enough. :/ 
Everyone should pray that my hair starts growing ... FASTER!! ;) 
Please & thank you.

much love, friends!

If you asked me...

If you asked me ... I'd tell you that this morning was beautiful. That in between all the joys and struggles, the Lord always shows up ... even when I don't think He does. When I whisper the sweet name of "Jesus" softly under my breathe, my heart feels at peace with the world. 

If you asked me ... I would tell you that I can't wait to be married one day. I look forward to having little kiddos running around, but for now ... I'm content with not having any. ;)

If you asked me ... I would tell you that just because I am always nice, doesn't mean I always like everyone. People can be cruel. They can be mean. But, there are also those who fill my life with love and laughter. I am so grateful for them. 

If you asked me ... I would tell you that I worry too much about what people think of me. I tend to seek the approval of what my life is worth through others, instead of from the Lord. I hate that. 

If you asked me ... I would tell you that I love watching sad movies. They remind me that life is short, beautiful, and messy.

If you asked me ... I would tell you that though I do not always talk about it, I worry about my weight.

If you asked me ... I would tell you that I haven't always been the greatest friend. I try. Sometimes I fail. I'm still working on it.

If you asked me  ... I would tell you that sometimes I am selfish. We all are in some ways. I pray that God would help me in that area of my life.

If you asked me ... I would tell you I don't like taking family trips. We all end up arguing or mad at each other. So, I would rather arrive seperate. :/

If you asked me ... I would tell you that I watched 'Dirty Dancing' this afternoon, for the millionth time in my life. And that Patrick Swayze still makes me swoon after all these years. ;)



If you asked me ... I would tell you that I dream of a day when I wake up and don't feel anxious over my worries and fears. {{That will be a beautiful day!!}}

If you asked me ... I would tell you that some of my favorite days are the quiet ones. The days filled with coffee, books, blankets, and a notebook.

"Take delight in Him, and he will give you the desire's of your heart." - Psalm 37:4

For you, Kimmie. :)

This evening I went with one of my dear friends to do last minute Christmas shopping at Wal-Mart.
Please remind me NOT to do that next year!
Jordan & I almost pulled our hair out. : /

Anyways, afterwards she & her boys were headed to church with her husband.
I got in my car & headed home.
The whole ride to my house my heart just ached.
I started to whisper the sweet name of "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus."
It helped to put my heart at rest.

I miss church.
When I say church I am not just speaking of the growth in my walk with the Lord, (because I strive for that everyday), but I miss having family, a support system.
I  miss community.
I miss having a place to run to when all other doors are closed in my face.
I yearn for that peace in my life again.

I once read where Shane Claiborne said that his liberal friends saw him as conservative and his conservative friends saw him as liberal.
I laugh every time I read that.
I feel quite similar to that at times.
I am a very open-minded person, yet hold the teachings of God close to my heart everyday.

Please let me define open-minded for you:
I am open to my LOVE for ALL people.
Do I agree with every choice or lifestyle they choose?
No. Absolutely not.
Do I still love them?
YES! for that is what Jesus did.
He loved.
Everyone.
Especially those that the world did not.
I will never be close having the heart of Jesus, but I do have Jesus IN my heart.
For that, I can say that my life is far sweeter than I could ever possibly give words to.

I have tattoos, I sometimes say "pissed", I listen to both christian & secular music, I laugh all the time, I try to always be myself - even if that means not everyone will like me, I love encouraging others, I adore hugs, I like getting to know people, sometimes I get frustrated, I go out for a drink once in a blue moon, I cry, I like awkwardness (makes life a little more interesting), and I may be a little different that what the world labels "normal", but guess what?

God loves those things about me.
He knows me.
He knows I am NOT perfect.
I am flawed.
I'm full of mistakes.
& yet I am still on this journey with Him.
I love Jesus!
I am not defined to live life inside a box that the world has created for myself ... or for God.

I know God is leading me to a church that is right for me.
I will continue to pray & be patient.

I long for His presence ... for the Holy Spirit.
Always.

much love,
colie