Life.

My heart is heavy.

So. very. heavy.

The journey we travel has many paths.

I suppose mine keeps taking the ones I never thought it would have taken.

Through the hurt and tears, I can hear the small voice of Jesus calling me. 

He says. "I love you , my precious daughter. Please run to me. Please. I'm waiting."

That love, HIS love, is so overwhelming that quiet tears always fall when I least expect them.

He reminds me that though I am imperfect and flawed, that I am worthy of HIS love and grace.

Little ole me.

Worthy?

"I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." - Ephesians 4:1-2

I pray that this rocky journey I have been on, this season in my life, will soon pass.

Your sweet prayers would be greatly appreciated, dear friends.

I am wishing you all the happiest Monday.

If I am absent a bit over the weeks to come, please don't worry.

For, "this too shall pass....".

much love.

xoxo

(While writing this post, I listened to KellyAnn's music monday. 

I hope you get the chance to do the same.)

Snail Mail. My favorite.

via

Let's write some letters:

Dear crappy-no-touch-screen phone, I dislike you. I miss my iPhone (4S) so very much. :( I might cry. Seriously.

Dear baby sister, please don't rush into another relationship. The last one was awful to you and I hate seeing anyone break your heart. You are beautiful, kind, and gracious. Be patient for one who is worthy of your heart!

Dear Hunger Games, I wish desperately that I could get you out of my head. So. leave. me. alone. I still love you, though. 

Dear boyfriend, thank you for being kind and patient with me. It means more than you know. Also, thank you for the new bed frame. Just remember that next time I will NOT be putting ANYTHING together. The photos on the instruction manuel makes it look easy. It lied.

Dear body image, please stop making me feel bad about myself. It isn't nice. This post helped, though.

Dear Michelle Williams, I watched 'My Week with Marilyn' yesterday afternoon. You are absolutely gorgeous and shine like the stars! PS. I found out that you are now dating Jason Segel. I wanted you to know that I am okay with that. I hope it works out for you! ;)

Dear coffee shops, I wish that you weren't so expensive. It breaks my heart that I can only go once or twice a week now. :/

Dear patients, please don't come into the pharmacy today and cause me problems. I know you want your drugs, but please realize it isn't my fault if you don't receive them. There is a good reason why.

Dear chapstick, I beg of you not to disappear on me again! I always seem to lose you & my lips just can't take that. 

Dear blogger friends, I am so glad I have you. There may not be many of you, but I'm more grateful than you could possibly know!

Until next time...
much love.

For you, Kimmie. :)

This evening I went with one of my dear friends to do last minute Christmas shopping at Wal-Mart.
Please remind me NOT to do that next year!
Jordan & I almost pulled our hair out. : /

Anyways, afterwards she & her boys were headed to church with her husband.
I got in my car & headed home.
The whole ride to my house my heart just ached.
I started to whisper the sweet name of "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus."
It helped to put my heart at rest.

I miss church.
When I say church I am not just speaking of the growth in my walk with the Lord, (because I strive for that everyday), but I miss having family, a support system.
I  miss community.
I miss having a place to run to when all other doors are closed in my face.
I yearn for that peace in my life again.

I once read where Shane Claiborne said that his liberal friends saw him as conservative and his conservative friends saw him as liberal.
I laugh every time I read that.
I feel quite similar to that at times.
I am a very open-minded person, yet hold the teachings of God close to my heart everyday.

Please let me define open-minded for you:
I am open to my LOVE for ALL people.
Do I agree with every choice or lifestyle they choose?
No. Absolutely not.
Do I still love them?
YES! for that is what Jesus did.
He loved.
Everyone.
Especially those that the world did not.
I will never be close having the heart of Jesus, but I do have Jesus IN my heart.
For that, I can say that my life is far sweeter than I could ever possibly give words to.

I have tattoos, I sometimes say "pissed", I listen to both christian & secular music, I laugh all the time, I try to always be myself - even if that means not everyone will like me, I love encouraging others, I adore hugs, I like getting to know people, sometimes I get frustrated, I go out for a drink once in a blue moon, I cry, I like awkwardness (makes life a little more interesting), and I may be a little different that what the world labels "normal", but guess what?

God loves those things about me.
He knows me.
He knows I am NOT perfect.
I am flawed.
I'm full of mistakes.
& yet I am still on this journey with Him.
I love Jesus!
I am not defined to live life inside a box that the world has created for myself ... or for God.

I know God is leading me to a church that is right for me.
I will continue to pray & be patient.

I long for His presence ... for the Holy Spirit.
Always.

much love,
colie

my one word.

let's all try to live by this motto. <3

we live a world that wants everything & we want it RIGHT NOW.

for me, it is hard to imagine that anything existed before this way of life.

we are not very patient people. 

our lives have become consumed around how life, in some way, owes us.

we tend to think, sometimes not purposely, that we need to get exactly what we want at the very moment we ask for it.

*i get easily annoyed if my internet connection is slow (or heaven forbid i go a full day without it!)

*if someone isn’t going “fast enough” in traffic

*if i don’t get my food the way i want it (i’m a picky eater)

*if my iphone isn’t doing what i want it to do

*if i don’t receive an immediate answer to something i feel is oh-so-important

*if someone doesn't do what i need them to do for me, especially if i have asked them several times

i tend to get annoyed or complain when things are not going the way i feel they should go.

& sadly, this isn’t just me.  

we live in a world that is focused on “me, me, me”.

then we lose sight of what is really important.

for that reason, i am doing away with my “new years resolution”. 

because if i want to be honest here, i never do any of them. : /

so, instead i am focusing on one word. 

one word to sum up what i want to change about myself and my life for the coming year. 

that word is GRATEFUL.

(**The definition of grateful is warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful; expressing by gratitude; or pleasing to the mind.)

i think it is easy for me to complain about so much that i don’t have and yet 

… what would life be like if i never had any of these things to begin with?

would i still have so much to complain about?

to feel like life just isn’t being fair to me?

i spend so much time rushing through life that i forget to just live.

to take the time:

to breathe.

to love.

to be grateful.

i hope to change that in 2012.

so, now….what is your one word?

oh, and remember to --- >

much love, colie.

(ps. this 'one word' idea came to me by reading this lovely post. enjoy!)