snowfall.

It was a winter wonderland the morning after Christmas, friends.
I woke up with a lose of words with how goregous God painted the world with snow.
It was truly a moment that took my breathe away.
I only wish that I had every day moments like that.
Those moments that seem so small, so simple, but it is as though you are the closest to God you have been in a long time.

I have a lot to share with you all about this coming year.
I'm excited.
I think this past year was one of immense struggle.
Frankly, it still is now.
But things are changing. 
Slowly, but it's getting there.

So, I plan to share more with you.
I will be blogging more.
I will make an effort to connect with you.
I am making changes.
I hope that you'll stay along for the journey.

much love, friends.
colie

PS. I also woke up the morning of my winter wonderland with a bit of a cold.
I am stocking up on meds, but I MUST be better by Tuesday morning!
I have a trip and will be driving the whole way.
So, please, please keep me in your prayers!

EVERY single day.

 

[Instagram: theplaidsparrow]

 

 

Every day, we have a choice.

We can let fear of something that really is small compared to the greatness of God cripple us.

OR ...

we can take a risk,

do something to help someone else,

make a person smile,

change someone's world.

 

Life to the fullest exists.

It's available.

All we have to do is decide to get up and embrace it.

 

-Katie Davis, (Kisses from Katie)

let's do this together. this thing called life.

Community matters.

People matter.

You matter.

 

Love is what binds us.

My hope is that we would learn to love and grow together.

Because doing life without others is not only lonely, but impossible.

 

I pray that, though our hearts may be troubled and broken, we remember to trust in a Father who is always faithful.

 

I sadly did not get to attend The Influence Conference this year.

However, I was lucky enough to read blog posts from so many lovely ladies who did.

There was one thing that Casey said that resonated in my mind over and over.

It is this:

 

"Your mess can be your ministry."

 

It is a reminder that our struggles, our unthinkable journey, our moments of undesireable pain and pure joy can ALL be used for His glory.

The paths we take in life happen for a reason.

Though our hearts may wander, the Lord of Lords is always near.

Always.

 

I hope you all find rest in that today.

much love, friends.



bits + pieces.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i'm not sure if this post means i'll be back to blogging again,

but i did feel like sharing snippets from this past week.

much love.

hey there.

i just need to talk.

i am happy that i have a new job. better hours, good pay, and nice people.

i'm beyond grateful for my dysfuntioncal family that is always there for me.

i am blessed to have true friends in my life that would run to the ends of the earth and back to protect my heart. (& i would do the same.)

some days my heart is so heavy i feel i may cry because of the sheer weight of it. & most times, i do.

i wish my financies weren't as bad as they are.

there are times i want to go back and change most of the stupid desicions i've made in my life.

sometimes i am sad because i am 25, single, with no kids. & sometimes i get annoyed when people say i'm still young. i know that. stop telling me.

i hate that i care so much for someone who doesn't feel the same. he isn't a horrible person. he has a lot of growing up to do. i'm just pretty sure i won't be around when he finally does.

i don't trust most people.

i miss when my life showed that i was truly running after the heart of God. i'm not sure when that stopped. :/

sometimes i feel like everyone has it together, but me. (even though i know that isn't true, deep down.)

i'm annoyed that i haven't emailed a single person back that took the time to do so over a month ago. i'm sorry. it was appreciated. i promise. i haven't forgotten.

i am beyond happy with my new tattoo. it makes number four. it needs a bit of touching up, but overall i'm over the moon about it!

i have been working out for over 2 months. sometimes i can't tell if anything has changed. but most days i'm just proud that i'm still sticking with it.

i desperately need a new book to read.

 

when the opportunity arises, i'm making a small weekend trip to dallas. i miss it and the people so very much.

my sister should be having her baby girl any day now. (first girl in the family for the aunts, uncles, and grandparents)

 

oh, and i miss blogging.

happy thursday.

a simple reminder for us all.

"When you have reached your own room, be kind to those who have chosen different doors and to those who are still in the hall. If they are wrong they need your prayers all the more; and if they are your enemies, then you are under orders to pray for them. That is one of the rules common to the whole house."
-CS Lewis
(Mere Christianity, preface)

my heart. jumbled thoughts.

It's not about forcing happiness, its about not letting the sadness win.

  - The Wonder Years

I think it is time to share my heart with you all.

First, though, I would like to apologize.

Not for not blogging. I needed that break.

I have expereienced a lot in the past month and every time I sat down to write, it just felt wrong.

The words didn't flow and it felt forced.

No, no.

I want to apologize for not keeping in touch with those who have emailed, text, encouraged, and just shined a bright light in my life.

I'm so grateful for you all.

I just wish that I didn't close the world out when I am dealing with situations in my life.

I have used my Instagram and Facebook occassionally, but there has been so much lacking of communication with anyone by any type of media.

I just want you to know I haven't forgotten you.

I have read your texts, emails, etc.

I'm grateful for them.

I don't mind if they were a day or a week late...frankly, I haven't responded in so long that there is truly no need for an apology, sweet friends.

I never put one foot into something.

 I never half way fall into it.

 I leap with everything I have.
I run full force with everything in my being...

...& my heart is a fragile thing because of it.

I try to care and love for others the way that Christ does for me so willingly, though I don't deserve it.

I think that because I am that way, that everyone else would be, as well.

I am always saddened when I realize that that is not the case.

Isn't it a strange thing how the emotions you have attached to someone makes you feel as though no harm could befall you.
Then, all at once, and ever so suddenly, it comes crashing down on you.
It leaves you confused and wondering what is wrong with you.

I think I have shed more tears in the past week than I have in months.
As time passes it isn't so much about an individual person, but more about how so many have left me feeling this way.
I try so much to be kind.
I try to treat others the way that we all desire to be treated.
It doesn't seem to be enough.
I have no clue why people let go of good things in their life.
If I did then I wouldn't have spent a few nights asking God "Why?" so many times.

There are days I wish I didn't have the personality traits that not only are my strength, but forever my weakness, as well.
It feels like a heavy burden I can't fix.
But do you know what?
I love myself.
I love who God has shaped and molded me into be.
I may not be right for those that have been in my life, but I will be right for someone that God has for me in the future.
There is pure joy in that knowledge.
Pure joy.

I am grateful.

"For what you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing: it also depends on what sort of person you are."
-C.S. Lewis

**the wonder years quote was found via amber's post, whom I adore.