bits + pieces.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i'm not sure if this post means i'll be back to blogging again,

but i did feel like sharing snippets from this past week.

much love.

hey there.

i just need to talk.

i am happy that i have a new job. better hours, good pay, and nice people.

i'm beyond grateful for my dysfuntioncal family that is always there for me.

i am blessed to have true friends in my life that would run to the ends of the earth and back to protect my heart. (& i would do the same.)

some days my heart is so heavy i feel i may cry because of the sheer weight of it. & most times, i do.

i wish my financies weren't as bad as they are.

there are times i want to go back and change most of the stupid desicions i've made in my life.

sometimes i am sad because i am 25, single, with no kids. & sometimes i get annoyed when people say i'm still young. i know that. stop telling me.

i hate that i care so much for someone who doesn't feel the same. he isn't a horrible person. he has a lot of growing up to do. i'm just pretty sure i won't be around when he finally does.

i don't trust most people.

i miss when my life showed that i was truly running after the heart of God. i'm not sure when that stopped. :/

sometimes i feel like everyone has it together, but me. (even though i know that isn't true, deep down.)

i'm annoyed that i haven't emailed a single person back that took the time to do so over a month ago. i'm sorry. it was appreciated. i promise. i haven't forgotten.

i am beyond happy with my new tattoo. it makes number four. it needs a bit of touching up, but overall i'm over the moon about it!

i have been working out for over 2 months. sometimes i can't tell if anything has changed. but most days i'm just proud that i'm still sticking with it.

i desperately need a new book to read.

 

when the opportunity arises, i'm making a small weekend trip to dallas. i miss it and the people so very much.

my sister should be having her baby girl any day now. (first girl in the family for the aunts, uncles, and grandparents)

 

oh, and i miss blogging.

happy thursday.

a simple reminder for us all.

"When you have reached your own room, be kind to those who have chosen different doors and to those who are still in the hall. If they are wrong they need your prayers all the more; and if they are your enemies, then you are under orders to pray for them. That is one of the rules common to the whole house."
-CS Lewis
(Mere Christianity, preface)

my heart. jumbled thoughts.

It's not about forcing happiness, its about not letting the sadness win.

  - The Wonder Years

I think it is time to share my heart with you all.

First, though, I would like to apologize.

Not for not blogging. I needed that break.

I have expereienced a lot in the past month and every time I sat down to write, it just felt wrong.

The words didn't flow and it felt forced.

No, no.

I want to apologize for not keeping in touch with those who have emailed, text, encouraged, and just shined a bright light in my life.

I'm so grateful for you all.

I just wish that I didn't close the world out when I am dealing with situations in my life.

I have used my Instagram and Facebook occassionally, but there has been so much lacking of communication with anyone by any type of media.

I just want you to know I haven't forgotten you.

I have read your texts, emails, etc.

I'm grateful for them.

I don't mind if they were a day or a week late...frankly, I haven't responded in so long that there is truly no need for an apology, sweet friends.

I never put one foot into something.

 I never half way fall into it.

 I leap with everything I have.
I run full force with everything in my being...

...& my heart is a fragile thing because of it.

I try to care and love for others the way that Christ does for me so willingly, though I don't deserve it.

I think that because I am that way, that everyone else would be, as well.

I am always saddened when I realize that that is not the case.

Isn't it a strange thing how the emotions you have attached to someone makes you feel as though no harm could befall you.
Then, all at once, and ever so suddenly, it comes crashing down on you.
It leaves you confused and wondering what is wrong with you.

I think I have shed more tears in the past week than I have in months.
As time passes it isn't so much about an individual person, but more about how so many have left me feeling this way.
I try so much to be kind.
I try to treat others the way that we all desire to be treated.
It doesn't seem to be enough.
I have no clue why people let go of good things in their life.
If I did then I wouldn't have spent a few nights asking God "Why?" so many times.

There are days I wish I didn't have the personality traits that not only are my strength, but forever my weakness, as well.
It feels like a heavy burden I can't fix.
But do you know what?
I love myself.
I love who God has shaped and molded me into be.
I may not be right for those that have been in my life, but I will be right for someone that God has for me in the future.
There is pure joy in that knowledge.
Pure joy.

I am grateful.

"For what you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing: it also depends on what sort of person you are."
-C.S. Lewis

**the wonder years quote was found via amber's post, whom I adore.

Guest Post: A Dreamer's Daze.

Well, hello friends!

I have been away this week, but I'll share more on that soon.

Right now I want you all to stop what you are doing and read this lovely guest post. 

Ariel is the best.

I'm serious.

She is the sweetest lady!!

When I get a text from her I laugh so much.

Then hours later, I remember that I completely forgot to text her back because life is crazy, busy! :/

(I'm sorry. I promise to get better!!)

Everyday I pretty much think about jumping on a plane, flying to the west coast, and hanging out with her for a week...or a month...or forever.

OR...just however long she will have me around. ;)

So, without further ado:

-------------------------

Hello!
My name is Ariel and I blog over at A Dreamer's Daze.

I'm so so excited that Colie asked me to guest post- isn't she just the sweetest thing ever!?
I've found so many wonderful people in blogland- where are you people in real life!?
Kidding... kind of.

Anyways, a little about me:
I am a 21 year old college student and I blog to document daily life, adventures, and inspirations. I love life and love and happiness and seek to capture it at every possible moment. My blog is a love letter to the world- to the places I've been, to the people I've met, and to the beauty and uncertainty that the future holds.

I grew up in a small northern California town. Home to the phrases "like" and "you know!?" Totally guilty of overusing those ones.
I've lived in the house that my daddy built since I was five years old.
I am one of five kids and my cat, Mr. Feeney, is my child.

I believe in viewing life as an adventure. This isn't hard to do, living in California. It's a beautiful state that has everything to offer.  

I live in a suburb about an hour from San Francisco. It's a cute town with street fairs and Saturday morning farmer's markets. The temperature never seems to drop below 50.

 I'm surrounded by mountains and fields and gorgeous bodies of water.

I believe in the power of music and I make it a goal to see at least one act of live music per month.
Lucky for me, California is home to many a music festivals.

Even though, I spend most of the year in Vermont for school, California will always be home. I feel so blessed to live here every time I smell the ocean air and feel the sunshine on my face. It really is an absolutely magical place to live.

Thank you for having me, Colie! 

Feel free to check out my blog, A Dreamer's Daze. 

There's nothing better than making new friends!

xoxo

Ariel

Guest Posting today, friends.

Today is the day that I am guest posting for the lovely, Ariel, over at A Dreamer's Daze.
Which, I am over -the-moon-excited about for two reasons.
First, it is actually my first guest post. Hooray! (Short & sweet...the way I like it).
AND.....

She is wonderful! Truly.
Her blog has been a breath of fresh air for me.
I love that I am getting to know her more.
She makes me laugh so much. :)
& can't wait for her guest post this coming week on my blog!! :)

PS. Also, do yourself a favor and follow her on Instagram here.
You will love all of her sweet photos!

Happy Friday, everyone.
much love.
xoxo.

Nicknames.

So, I have said it before & I'll say it again: I LOVEE nicknames!

I don't know why, but I always have.

If I could shorten everyone's name or call them something that suits only them, I would!

So, I was sitting around thinking of all the nicknames I have gotten over the years & thought I'd share them with you.

2007. My trip to Florida to see family. 

I was dark. 

Oh, and I kinda want short hair again...:/

My real name is Nicole.

My nicknames have been (or are):

Colie

Nickel

Pickles

Nikki 

(which is the worst. I'm sorry if this is your name. 

It's nothing against you. It just doesn't suit me.)

Freckles

Coe

Pebbles

Coliebear

Nic

Macolely

Cuban

Now it is your turn! 

What are your nicknames??

Any favorites?